


Penniless and tired with your hair grown long

by thought



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Pre-Canon, everybody here has PTSD it's a party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27378718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thought/pseuds/thought
Summary: She can’t let him leave her, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try.
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Penniless and tired with your hair grown long

**Author's Note:**

> Again, [14CombatGeishas](http://archiveofourown.org/users/14CombatGeishas) fought a valiant battle against my many typos.

“No! Stop! Get back here!”

Br– (no, _Caleb_ , now,) does not stop. If anything he runs faster, the sole of one boot flapping against the cobblestone like mocking slow applause. The pain in his side may mean he’s been stabbed or may simply mean his endurance is still unacceptably low. One of those is worse than the other.

Nott is somewhere not in the custody of the Crownsguard, which is quite frankly all that matters at the moment. She had helped him. She had caused a distraction, put herself at risk, because he had made a mistake.

He had fucked up.

He wraps an arm closer around his ribs, trying instinctively to soothe the pain without dropping the paper sack of incense clutched under his coat. 

***

Veth finds her wizard not too long after the shouts of the guards and the shopkeeper fade in the distance. He’s crouched in an alley, between a brick wall and a stack of rotting wooden crates. She can hear something scurrying and scrabbling inside of them, and when she puts a hand out to brace herself on them the wood gives way with a damp, soundless shutter. She pulls her hand out fast. Once, the reaction would have been disgust. Now she’s more worried about the cost of medicine if some little vermin’s teeth infected her. 

“Caleb!” she hisses. “Are you alright?!”

He shushes her, stands and peers both ways as if she’s stupid enough to announce their position to anyone who might be walking past. When he turns back he automatically goes down on one knee so he’s at her level. Before, she always found that sort of thing patronizing, but Caleb does a lot of things she used to hate that don’t bother her anymore. She’s not sure if it’s he or she who’s different.

“I’m fine, ja,” he says. He grabs her arm and tugs at the bandaging, and it’s only then she notices the ragged edges of cloth sagging loosely around her forearm. They at least cover where the skin is hanging, equally ragged.

She can lie to herself and say she hadn’t noticed the pain because of the panic of the chase, but pursuing nice things has never gotten her anywhere good. At least if she’s too drunk to feel it it’s a reason within her control. Caleb splashes a few precious drops of water from his waterskin over the sound, then tries to re-wrap the bandages. His hands are shaking worse than usual.

“You’re a shitty thief,” she tells him. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted incense?”

He laughs. “I wanted it for a selfish reason. What, would you have stolen it for me just like that?”

She frowns at him. “Yes.”

He shakes his head at her. “You’re either very stupid or lying,” he says. He can’t get the bandage wrapped back around her arm and she can see the blood – her blood – coating his fingers.

“You want your cat back,” she says. “That’s not selfish. Or if it is, I’m not one to say anything. You’ve taken plenty of beatings because of my itch.”

She can’t let him leave her, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try. She’s no better than the goblins who tortured her. No better than any other goblin. She’d like to think that by helping Caleb she’s proving that she’s better, but–

"I killed one of the guards," she says.

He waves a hand dismissively, flicking droplets of her blood into the dirt. “Ja, it happens. What else are they there for?” He laughs a bit before he snaps his teeth together, like he’s caught himself biting his nails and is frustrated at the resurgence of an old habit.

“To protect the people, I suppose,” she says, because he’s currently doing a shit job of caring for her wounds and she’s not inclined to take much more care with his.

“Sure,” he says. “That’s definitely it. Listen, I’m going to–” a pause, a deliberate breath – “Do you mind if I cauterize this? Clearly I’m a fucking failure at first aid, and I don’t want it to get infected.”

She nods. “Sure, but– hang on. Here.” She pulls her scarf off with her free hand and shoves the stained, threadbare fabric into his face. “Cover your nose. We really don’t have time for you to have one of your fits.”

“I do not have ‘fits,’” he says, indignant, but he wraps the scarf over his face nonetheless.

She watches long enough to see the fire spark at his fingertips like it’s meant to be there, and then she looks away and thinks _there’s nothing you can do, just let it happen. There’s nothing you can do, just let it happen._

“Done,” he says. 

She looks back at him and he looks so quietly proud of himself it almost brings tears to her eyes.

If Caleb Widogast does nothing else for her in his entire life, she will always owe him her fucking soul for proving that she still holds the capacity to care for someone like a parent cares for a child. She’d spent countless nights terrified that if she ever got to hold her son again she’d look down and see only a liability, but watching through a veil of alcohol and exhaustion as Caleb crept closer and closer across the floor of a prison cell and finally smiled at her had been... a revelation. She will never be able to repay him for that, and yet she will keep asking for more. 

She comforts herself with the assurance that an improvement in Caleb’s skills can only be a benefit to him as well, but... well... she’s seen his nightmares. She’s learning to be a better liar the longer she spends with him, but she’s not that good yet.


End file.
